After Only A Month In Office, Poor Widdle Trump Reportedly Has ‘Cabin Fever’

Poor Donald. (Cue world smallest violin, playing just for the alleged president.)

Yes, our man-child who resides at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is not enjoying his new job. Probably because it’s the only real job he’s ever had. It’s one thing to be the boss, the unquestioned final word on everything. But this governing stuff is hard work.

Business Insider reports:

“Trump is reportedly experiencing headaches and frustration that he can’t spend his evenings dining at restaurants like he could around Trump Tower in his old neighborhood in New York City.”

Doesn’t your heart just fucking bleed for poor Donnie? It doesn’t? Good, ’cause neither does mine.

This explains why Trump has to travel on our dime each and every weekend so he can be at Mar-a-Lago and pretend he’s still just Asshole Donald who gets to have his way on everything.

See, back in Washington there’s Congress and the mean federal judges who stand in the way of terminally immature Trump declaring himself emperor for life and taking a permanent vacation.

Donald Trump is a low energy kind of guy. And he’s also 70 years old. He’s fat, doesn’t eat right (word is he’s a big fan of fast food), and hasn’t groped a cute girl in months now. It’s just no damn fair!

Maybe he’ll get fed up and resign. But before he does, he needs to send Mike Pence to a deserted island without a cell phone. Then we need to have a new election and get someone in the White House who isn’t afraid to actually work for a living.

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