I don’t remember exactly how old I was when I stopped believing in Santa and those little jolly elf bastards, but I am pretty sure I was in middle school. And even though I believed longer than most of my friends, it was only by a year or so.
In today’s society I don’t even know why we have Old Saint Nick anymore. Parents no longer are finding it important to reveal that magic to their children, and keep them innocent as long as possible.
So while my son, nine years old, can’t wait to leave Santa cookies, little Joey down the street has known since he was two that there is no fucking fat man with a white beard creeping down his chimney on Christmas Eve. The problem with that is kids are cruel, and bullying is a huge issue today.
My kid is kind, sweet, and only God knows how with him having his dad and I as role models, pretty much stands for everything good in this world. So, it is automatically correct to assume that his little prick ass classmates pick on him relentlessly.
In order to make my son’s life a little easier, because at nine the world is a cruel fucking place, we now have to tell him Santa isn’t real; well at least after this Christmas is over.
Do you know how that makes me feel?
Pissed.
Pissed probably doesn’t even cover it. Parent’s today are too self-absorbed to realize they have raised a little shit that just took the sparkle of Christmas out of a nine-year-old boy’s big brown eyes.
So next time you want to blame the downfall of Christmas on Starbucks or President Obama, realize it’s not the corporate giants killing Christmas it’s the little rat bastard pricks you are attempting to raise.
Get it together and start preaching acceptance and innocence because your shit is ruining the holidays.
If anyone is interested we will be holding funeral services for Santa on the 26th, bring a bottle of whiskey.
Featured Image Via Find A Death